As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, staff members are sharing their stories about their experiences with mental health and how they look after themselves. Here Elise speaks about mental health battles since being a teenager and advises others who are struggling.

Tell us about yourself and a little about your mental health journey so far

Looking back, I think I’ve suffered from mental ill health since I was about fourteen. Anxiety and depression have, in varying degrees and through various phases, been present for most of my life. Couple that with a few traumas, a couple of coming outs and you’ve got me today! But that’s kind of the least interesting thing about me nowadays.

Now I am a Wellbeing Champion (Wellbeing Lead for my team) and a Mental Health First Aider, and I have just finished my Level 3 qualification in counselling skills.

I would never say that I am grateful for my diagnosis or traumas, because frankly no one should have to shoulder all that, but I’m proud to still be standing and to be able to help others get through things with an insight that not many other people have.

How do you now look after your mental health?

I love a good boundary. The saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ rattles around my head daily. If someone comes to me with a problem in a Mental Health First Aider capacity, and I don’t feel like I can keep myself – and therefore the person asking for help – safe, then I have a plethora of signposting options for them to choose from and a promise to circle back when I feel like I can personally help.

In my own time, I’m quite a solitary person, and I enjoy my own company. I watch shows, I play video games, I write a diary, and I go to the gym and yoga classes. All these things broaden my ‘window of tolerance’ in everyday life.

How have you been supported at work with your mental health?

I can’t express how lucky I am to have been supported the way I have been these past few years. I feel I can speak to my manager about anything that’s impacting my mental health, even if it isn’t work-related. She’s wonderful at quickly putting into place reasonable adjustments so that I can protect myself from a full mental breakdown. She also doesn’t guess – she asks outright what I need and then makes it so, as long as it’s within her power.

My team are also incredibly supportive, and we all know each other quite well, so they know my tells for seasons of worse mental health and when to reach out and when to just leave me alone to process. I’m lucky enough to also work within UHS and last year made use of their TRiM service, which was invaluable in helping me know my triggers and working risks when it came to a significant bereavement.

What do you think is the biggest misconception surrounding mental health?

Where do I even start? I think the big thing for me is that mental health isn’t black and white. It’s not like you’re well and thriving or sitting rocking in the corner sobbing. I know that, mentally, I’m unwell. Maybe I will be for the rest of my life. But I live a fulfilling life; I take on passion projects in my work, I laugh with my friends and family and I love my partner deeply. You learn to take the good with the bad – and sometimes the bad is awful.

In mental health first aider training we learn about ‘the mental health continuum’, and realising that I live my life fluctuating between the third and fourth quadrants was an awakening thought. I’d recommend looking it up if you’re ever worried that you’re ‘not ill enough’.

What is your advice to others struggling with their mental health?

I don’t believe in having a ‘stiff upper lip’. Pushing your emotions down is like putting them in a pressure cooker – it might work for a little while, but one day that bad boy is going to explode, and it’s going to be very messy and hard to clean up!

It’s easy to say, talk to someone. Talking therapy has helped me at multiple times in my life, but I know NHS waiting lists are long and therapy like that seems completely out of reach, even just for CBT. So I would suggest reaching out to a friend to vent. Even reaching out to an Mental Health First Aider local to you can open doors, as we have a lot of information about charities and schemes at our fingertips.

I spoke about writing a diary earlier – which is kind of like talking to a friend! A problem shared isn’t necessarily a problem halved, but sometimes thinking about it logically to explain it to a friend or write it out or tell a professional is the boost you need to work it out yourself. It’s cliché, but I really do promise it gets better!

If you need help or support, please speak to your line manager?or read about support available to staff.